Got problems? Want advice on... Relationships? School? Fashion? Health? Food? Home DIY? Our self-proclaimed all-around guru, Donya Quixote, is at your disposal! Just put your questions in a comment (you can make it anonymous if you want), and watch out for her response in her next post.

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Ask The Donya: #2

Dear Donya,

I've read your comments as well as your advice, and I hope you could help me about this. My sister's ex is bothering me in a way that he texts and calls me a lot, saying that he loves me and misses me. I only saw him once and I DON'T like him.

He sends almost 15 texts a day and because I don't reply at all, he concludes that I also like him a bit. Ewww! I already told him that he won't get anything from me. But he doesn't stop texting/calling me. Because I am a Christian, I said that God loves him and that I dont want to be rude nor mean to him because that's not what our faith teaches (hehehe) so I begged him to stop sending messages, and guess what? He didn't.

He even haunts me in my dreams (huhu) I just wake up in the middle of the night palpitating because he was running after me in my dream. He got my primary pic in friendster and made it his background. And my name was in his textbox something. Huhu. Help. I know I am wonderfully made (hahaha) but I dont think I deserve this. Naks! Haha. He texted my brother once and told him that he would be courting me in our house this December. Eww again! Haay. Help!



Dear Unlucky,

I liken the uninvited persistent pursuer to the stubborn epidermal fungus. If not treated at all, it will spread to every part of your body/aspect of your life. If not treated properly, and you stop applying your medication as soon as your skin starts to clear up... IT'LL COME BACK! Oh noooo!

And as you can see from the image I have oh-so-tastefully attached, it won't be pretty. [To my sensitive readers, I apologize, and I hope you guys aren't eating... I just had to emphasize my point with a gross photo... that's mah styyyle.]

I know you've read my previous post on how to handle persistent people on the internet [which may be applied to texting, etc.], but to those of you out there who are experiencing similar problems and haven't read it yet, I recommend that you do.

Anyhoo, Unlucky, here's my advice.

• If he's just really makulit and just won't go away, just stop all correspondence. When you get his messages, erase them right away, and don't bother reading them, because you're too young to have blood pressure problems. Don't even text him to buzz off, because the mere fact that you texted may be enough to encourage his behavior.
• Do try to stop thinking about him. The fact that you're having nightmares about him means that you've been giving him too much thought than what's healthy.
  
  

  Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. - Philippians 4:8 (The Message, emphasis mine)

• You may not be able to change the way this boy acts towards you, but you can change the way you react. Don't let it bring you down, just go out and smell the flowers. Remember Reinhold Niebuhr's prayer:
  
  

  "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I know it's hard being beautiful. *sigh* If only there was a step-by-step guide to get rid of persistent fungus-boys. And unlike tough acting Tinactin®, which is clinically proven to stop severe itching and the burning of athlete's foot, my advice has no approved therapeutic claims.

You know what works, though? Prayer. Works 100% of the time. Even something as tough as Tinactin® can't make a claim like that.


P.S. Regarding him visiting you this December at your house: God gave you a brother [and a dad] for a reason. Bwa ha ha ha.

Got problems? Want advice on... Relationships? School? Fashion? Health? Food? Home DIY? Our self-proclaimed all-around guru, Donya Quixote, is at your disposal! Just put your questions in a comment (you can make it anonymous if you want), and watch out for her response in her next post.

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Ask The Donya: #1

Dear Donya,

I think I have done something very silly. I was online last night when someone private messaged me. Hindi ko siya kilala. Sabi niya nakuha niya raw yung email address ko sa isang site. I don't usually chat with strangers, pero dahil wala naman akong ibang kausap, nagreply ako.

One PM led to another, at hindi ko alam kung paano ito nangyari, pero nabigay ko yung number ko sa kaniya! Right after I pressed the enter button, narealize ko na katangahan yung ginawa ko, but it was too late, napress ko na.

Now, he's always texting me, tas ang sweet-sweet pa ng mga messages, nakakasuka na talaga. Nagyayaya pang magmeet. I want to block him but I think that would be too mean, tapos he has my number. Help! What should I do?


Dear Silly,

Oo nga, silly ka nga. Haha. Wag mo na yang ulitin, ha?

Judging from your letter, I'd say that you don't want to meet this boy [which is good, because no matter how I look at it, eyeball-ing is pretty dodgy... just my opinion though so don't kill me if you disagree]. If you do decide to meet, please do not meet him alone. By all means, bring a friend! Or two or three. There are a lot of people out there who may appear nice online but are in reality not nice at all. If you haven't already heard the horror stories, google "internet harassment" and "cyberstalking" for some enlightenment.

It is good that you are being considerate of this boy's feelings, but bear in mind that you have to look out for your own wellbeing as well. If you are really bothered by his messages, tell him gently that you don't feel comfortable with your correspondence anymore. You can ask him to stop contacting you on your cell phone. That should be enough. You can still chat with him, but don't hesitate to tell him if his messages are making you feel uncomfortable.

If that doesn't work, just stop entertaining him altogether. You are not obliged to reply to his texts and private messages. If he gets to be more of a problem, block him. It may seem mean, but after a while you'll be grateful you did it, trust me on this.

For you, and for those out there who still don't know what one should or shouldn't do when chatting to strangers, here are five guidelines.

1. Don't give out your real name. You can give your first name or nickname, but don't give out your full name. When chatting, refrain from using IDs like juan_delacruz21, because that totally gives it away.
   
2. Don't give out any classified information, such as your cell phone number, your home number, your home address [especially not your home address]. Not even your email address.
3. Don't reveal anyone else's names and phone numbers either. Not your mom's, not your second cousin's, not your Math17 seatmate's, no-one's.
   
4. Be nice. Even though you don't know these people, the golden rule still applies: treat them like you would like to be treated. If you get rude or unpleasant messages, you don't have reply. That block function is there for a reason.
   
5. Practice discretion. For example, make sure your display picture isn't going to provoke harassment. Girls, even just a little cleavage is enough to get unwanted attention.
   
6. BONUS: If you are minding your own business [i.e. not even in a chatroom] and you suddenly get an invitation from someone you don't know to view their webcam, STOP. Reject the invitation. [I learned this lesson the hard way. Boo.]

I hope that helped! To Silly, I wish you all the best. To all of you, remember: chat safely.