Got problems? Want advice on... Relationships? School? Fashion? Health? Food? Home DIY? Our self-proclaimed all-around guru, Donya Quixote, is at your disposal! Just put your questions in a comment (you can make it anonymous if you want), and watch out for her response in her next post.

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Ask The Donya: #1

Dear Donya,

I think I have done something very silly. I was online last night when someone private messaged me. Hindi ko siya kilala. Sabi niya nakuha niya raw yung email address ko sa isang site. I don't usually chat with strangers, pero dahil wala naman akong ibang kausap, nagreply ako.

One PM led to another, at hindi ko alam kung paano ito nangyari, pero nabigay ko yung number ko sa kaniya! Right after I pressed the enter button, narealize ko na katangahan yung ginawa ko, but it was too late, napress ko na.

Now, he's always texting me, tas ang sweet-sweet pa ng mga messages, nakakasuka na talaga. Nagyayaya pang magmeet. I want to block him but I think that would be too mean, tapos he has my number. Help! What should I do?


Dear Silly,

Oo nga, silly ka nga. Haha. Wag mo na yang ulitin, ha?

Judging from your letter, I'd say that you don't want to meet this boy [which is good, because no matter how I look at it, eyeball-ing is pretty dodgy... just my opinion though so don't kill me if you disagree]. If you do decide to meet, please do not meet him alone. By all means, bring a friend! Or two or three. There are a lot of people out there who may appear nice online but are in reality not nice at all. If you haven't already heard the horror stories, google "internet harassment" and "cyberstalking" for some enlightenment.

It is good that you are being considerate of this boy's feelings, but bear in mind that you have to look out for your own wellbeing as well. If you are really bothered by his messages, tell him gently that you don't feel comfortable with your correspondence anymore. You can ask him to stop contacting you on your cell phone. That should be enough. You can still chat with him, but don't hesitate to tell him if his messages are making you feel uncomfortable.

If that doesn't work, just stop entertaining him altogether. You are not obliged to reply to his texts and private messages. If he gets to be more of a problem, block him. It may seem mean, but after a while you'll be grateful you did it, trust me on this.

For you, and for those out there who still don't know what one should or shouldn't do when chatting to strangers, here are five guidelines.

1. Don't give out your real name. You can give your first name or nickname, but don't give out your full name. When chatting, refrain from using IDs like juan_delacruz21, because that totally gives it away.
   
2. Don't give out any classified information, such as your cell phone number, your home number, your home address [especially not your home address]. Not even your email address.
3. Don't reveal anyone else's names and phone numbers either. Not your mom's, not your second cousin's, not your Math17 seatmate's, no-one's.
   
4. Be nice. Even though you don't know these people, the golden rule still applies: treat them like you would like to be treated. If you get rude or unpleasant messages, you don't have reply. That block function is there for a reason.
   
5. Practice discretion. For example, make sure your display picture isn't going to provoke harassment. Girls, even just a little cleavage is enough to get unwanted attention.
   
6. BONUS: If you are minding your own business [i.e. not even in a chatroom] and you suddenly get an invitation from someone you don't know to view their webcam, STOP. Reject the invitation. [I learned this lesson the hard way. Boo.]

I hope that helped! To Silly, I wish you all the best. To all of you, remember: chat safely.